Introduction: When Pain Becomes a Weapon

We all have wounds—emotional, psychological, or even spiritual. Life has bruised us, betrayed us, abandoned us, or even humiliated us. Some have lost parents young, some have suffered abuse, some have been cheated, insulted, or cast aside.

And yet, those wounds can go two ways:

• They can become weapons for transformation—used to help others, birth wisdom, and inspire change.
• Or they can turn into poison—breeding bitterness, vengeance, and cycles of oppression.

But let’s be honest. Many Nigerians (especially on social media) have turned their wounds into AK-47s—shooting down anyone who reminds them of their past pain. “Dem do me, so I must do others.”

Now, let’s talk about how this plays out in different parts of life.

1. “I Suffered, So You Must Suffer” – The Cycle of Hardship

Nigerians love suffering—not because they enjoy it, but because they believe it’s the only way to prove strength. So, when people finally break free, instead of making life easier for others, they weaponize their past suffering.

Real-Life Scenarios:

• A Nigerian parent says, “I walked 10km to school every day, so my children must suffer too. They should trek to school like I did.” Instead of using their success to help their kids, they repeat the cycle.
• Senior students in Nigerian universities justify hazing and brutal bullying by saying, “We suffered as freshers, so you too must suffer.”
• In workplaces, a boss who was overworked as a junior staff says, “I had no work-life balance, so you must work weekends too.”
• In Nigerian churches, leaders refuse to mentor younger ones freely because “I struggled to get here. You too must suffer and find your way.”

➡️ Question: If pain taught you the value of ease, why are you making others suffer the same way?

2. “Nobody Helped Me, So I Won’t Help You” – The Scarcity Mindset

Nigeria has a serious problem with gatekeeping. People who struggle feel entitled to make others struggle too.

Real-Life Scenarios:

• A successful entrepreneur says, “I built my business from scratch without anyone’s help, so why should I give you free mentorship?”
• A government official who struggled to rise to power refuses to create policies that help young professionals. Instead, he makes sure the entry barriers are even harder.
• A pastor who grew up in poverty preaches hardcore prosperity gospel, telling people that if they’re still poor, they’re not ‘sowing’ enough.
• A rich relative ignores his struggling cousin, thinking, “Nobody helped me, so why should I help you?”

➡️ Question: Why do we hoard help instead of using our struggles to uplift others?

3. “Since I Was Oppressed, I Must Oppress Too” – The Abuse of Power

One of the biggest effects of weaponized wounds is when victims become oppressors.

Real-Life Scenarios:

• A church worker who was once humiliated now abuses power, controlling younger members the same way they were controlled.
• A firstborn child, who was treated harshly, starts bullying younger siblings because “I suffered as the eldest, so you too must learn.”
• A lecturer, who was once a struggling student, now demands bribes, blocking others from progressing just because he suffered too.
• A young woman, once body-shamed, now makes fun of others because “They did it to me too.”

➡️ Question: Should pain turn us into abusers? Or should it make us more compassionate?

4. “Men Are Scum, Women Are Gold Diggers” – The Relationship Wound Game

Social media is full of people bleeding on innocent bystanders.

Real-Life Scenarios:

• A man who was heartbroken by one woman now preaches “Women are wicked. Use them before they use you.”
• A woman who was cheated on once now tells young girls “Don’t love a man—just collect his money.”
• A husband, who grew up with an abusive father, now sees his wife as a punching bag because “My mother endured, so you must too.”

➡️ Question: Should one bad experience define how you treat others?

5. “God Disappointed Me, So I Won’t Believe in Him” – Spiritual Trauma

Pain even affects faith.

Real-Life Scenarios:

• A former choir leader, humiliated by church politics, now tells people “Church people are fake. Forget religion.”
• A young man, who prayed for healing but lost his mother, now says “God doesn’t answer prayers.”
• Someone who suffered under a harsh spiritual leader now rejects all forms of church authority.

➡️ Question: Is God to blame for the wickedness of men?

The Jesus Model: Turning Wounds into Healing, Not Weapons

Pain is real. Betrayal is real. But how we respond to it matters.

Let’s talk about Jesus:

• He was betrayed but still forgave.
• He was abandoned but still loved.
• He was crucified but still saved.

➡️ If Jesus had weaponized His wounds, we’d all be doomed.

Instead of using His pain for revenge, He used it to save the world.

So, What Do We Do With Our Pain?

✅ Heal before you lead – Don’t pass on your trauma.
✅ Break cycles, don’t continue them – If you suffered, use that pain to help, not harm.
✅ Mentor, don’t hoard knowledge – Your struggle should make it easier for others, not harder.
✅ Forgive, but set boundaries – Don’t let pain turn you into what hurt you.
✅ Let pain make you better, not bitter.

Conclusion: Wounds Can Be Weapons or Tools—You Choose

Pain is like fire. It can burn and destroy or refine and strengthen. How we use it determines whether we heal or wound others.

So, ask yourself today:

🔥 Am I healing or hurting?
🔥 Am I breaking cycles or continuing them?
🔥 Am I using my wounds to bring change—or to cause more pain?

Because at the end of the day, our wounds will speak—whether in love or in vengeance.

Prayer Section & Scriptural Reflections

Prayer for Healing from Weaponized Wounds

“Father, I bring my wounds before You. The pain, the betrayals, the struggles—I lay them at Your feet. Heal my heart so I don’t pass on bitterness. Help me to use my experiences to uplift, not to destroy. Give me the wisdom to break negative cycles and lead with love. Teach me to forgive, to mentor, to give, and to help others rise. Let my wounds be tools for healing, not weapons for destruction. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Biblical Reflections on Healing from Pain

✅ Joseph’s Story (Genesis 50:20) – “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and imprisoned unfairly. Yet, he didn’t let pain turn into revenge—he used his suffering to save lives.

✅ Jesus’ Response to Betrayal (Luke 23:34) – “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Even on the cross, Jesus forgave. His greatest wound became the world’s greatest healing.

✅ Paul’s Advice on Bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32) – “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger… Be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Pain does not justify cruelty.

Interactive Reflection Questions

1. Have I unknowingly passed on my pain to others?
2. What negative cycles from my past am I continuing today?
3. How can I turn my painful experiences into a force for good?

🔥 Drop a comment below—let’s talk about this. How have you seen people weaponize their wounds? Have you ever struggled with this yourself?