Tag: Why

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Discipleship Is Stewardship: Are You Passing the Baton?

Mentorship, Biblical Parenting, and Raising the Next Generation for Christ

Have you ever watched a relay race?

The runners don’t just focus on speed—they focus on passing the baton.

Because no matter how fast one person runs, if the baton drops, the race is lost.

This is exactly what mentorship and discipleship are about.

Christianity isn’t just about what you know or how much you grow—it’s about what you pass on to others.

So, let’s ask the hard question:

Are you stewarding your influence well? Or are you dropping the baton?

Because when it comes to discipleship, mentorship, and raising godly children…

What you fail to pass down may be lost forever.

1. Mentorship Is a Command, Not an Option

Many people think mentorship is for pastors, theologians, or professional counselors.

Wrong.

Mentorship is not a suggestion—it’s a biblical command.

Jesus said:

“Go and make disciples of all nations, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20)

This isn’t just about evangelism—it’s about discipleship.

And discipleship isn’t just about teaching what to believe—it’s about guiding people in how to live.

Biblical Examples of Mentorship

✔ Moses mentored Joshua – He didn’t just lead Israel; he trained Joshua to take over (Deuteronomy 31:7-8).
✔ Elijah mentored Elisha – Before Elijah was taken up, Elisha had received his spiritual mantle (2 Kings 2:9-14).
✔ Jesus mentored the Twelve – He didn’t just preach sermons—He walked with His disciples daily.
✔ Paul mentored Timothy and Titus – They became strong leaders because of Paul’s investment in them.

Christian growth isn’t just about personal development—it’s about pouring into others.

And if we’re not mentoring, we’re breaking the chain of discipleship.

2. The Dos and Don’ts of Mentorship

Not every mentor is a good one.

And not every mentoring relationship is healthy.

Let’s get practical:

✔ DOs of Mentorship

✅ Lead by Example – People learn by watching more than by listening (1 Corinthians 11:1).
✅ Be Available – A mentor that’s too busy to guide is just a title without impact.
✅ Speak Truth in Love – Correction should build up, not destroy (Ephesians 4:15).
✅ Encourage Growth – A good mentor pushes people to think, question, and mature.
✅ Pray for and with Them – Jesus constantly prayed for His disciples (Luke 22:32).

❌ DON’Ts of Mentorship

🚫 Don’t Play the Hero – You’re a mentor, not a savior. Point them to Jesus.
🚫 Don’t Micromanage – You’re a guide, not a dictator. Let them grow.
🚫 Don’t Gossip About Them – A mentor who breaks trust loses influence.
🚫 Don’t Force It – Not every mentoring relationship is meant to last forever.
🚫 Don’t Expect Perfection – People make mistakes. Be patient.

Mentorship done well changes lives.
Mentorship done wrong damages destinies.

So… are you mentoring well?

3. Stewarding the Next Generation (Biblical Parenting & Spiritual Influence)

Raising godly children isn’t just biological parenting—it’s spiritual stewardship.

Because the next generation will not follow Christ by accident.

If we don’t intentionally invest in them, they will be discipled by:
❌ Social media
❌ Culture
❌ Entertainment
❌ Peers who don’t know God

Biblical Parenting & Mentorship Principles

✔ Teach Them the Word Early – “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
✔ Show, Don’t Just Tell – Your example matters more than your instructions (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
✔ Correct with Love, Not Fear – Discipline should guide, not traumatize (Ephesians 6:4).
✔ Encourage Questions – Kids who aren’t allowed to ask questions will seek answers elsewhere.
✔ Let Them See Your Walk with God – Authenticity is more powerful than lectures.

If we don’t disciple the next generation, the world will.

4. Passing the Baton Without Dropping It

The greatest failure of any generation is not passing on what they received.

A perfect example?

The generation after Joshua:

“After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what He had done for Israel.” (Judges 2:10)

How did that happen?

Because someone dropped the baton.

✔ They fought battles but didn’t pass on the faith.
✔ They built cities but didn’t build disciples.
✔ They won victories but failed in mentorship.

If we’re not careful, this can happen again.

And the solution? Intentional discipleship.

Final Thought: Who Are You Investing In?

Christianity is a relay race, not a solo sprint.

If all we do is grow spiritually but never help others grow, we have failed.

So, let’s reflect:

  • Who is mentoring you?
  • Who are you mentoring?
  • Are you passing the baton, or are you dropping it?

Because what you fail to pass down might be lost forever.

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Are You a Leader or Just in Charge?

Stewardship of Authority and Influence

Let’s be honest. Not everyone in a leadership position is actually a leader.

Some people are just… in charge.

  • The boss who loves the title but not the responsibility.
  • The church leader who demands respect but refuses to serve.
  • The government official who enjoys the benefits but ignores the people.

We’ve all seen it.
Maybe, at times, we’ve even been it.

But true leadership is not about control—it’s about stewardship.

God doesn’t just give influence for personal gain. He gives it for impact.

So, are you a leader, or are you just in charge?

Let’s break it down.

1. Leadership Is a Calling, Not a Status

Many people see leadership as a promotion, a reward, or a sign of importance.

But in the Bible, leadership is a calling—and it comes with weighty responsibility.

Biblical Examples of Leadership as Stewardship

✔ Moses didn’t apply for the job—he was called to lead Israel, despite his weaknesses (Exodus 3:11-12).
✔ David was a shepherd before he was a king. God trained him to lead by teaching him to care for sheep (1 Samuel 16:11-13).
✔ Jesus—the ultimate leader—served instead of demanding service (Matthew 20:28).

Leadership is never about status—it’s always about service.

2. Being in Charge vs. Being a Leader

Here’s the difference between real leaders and those who are just in charge:

Those Who Are Just in ChargeTrue Leaders
Love titles and positionsLove people and purpose
Demand respect and obedienceEarn trust through service
Avoid accountabilityAccept responsibility
Make themselves comfortableMake others better
Use authority to controlUse authority to empower

Being in charge is about power.
Being a leader is about responsibility.

3. The Danger of Misusing Influence

Many people step into leadership but fail the test of stewardship.

Power exposes character.

  • Pharaoh used his power to oppress Israel.
  • Saul used his position to hunt David out of jealousy.
  • The Pharisees used religion to burden people instead of helping them.

Modern-Day Examples

  • The church leader who uses authority to silence questions instead of guiding people.
  • The boss who micro-manages everything instead of trusting the team.
  • The politician who forgets the people once elected.

God doesn’t just judge what we do with leadership—He judges how we do it.

4. Stewarding Authority the Right Way

If God has given you influence, you have a divine responsibility to:

✔ Lead with humility – Pride destroys leadership. Humility sustains it (Proverbs 11:2).
✔ Seek wisdom – Leadership without wisdom is dangerous (Proverbs 4:7).
✔ Be accountable – Every leader needs someone who can correct them (Proverbs 27:17).
✔ Empower others – The best leaders raise more leaders.
✔ Serve first – “Whoever wants to be great must be a servant.” (Matthew 20:26)

Great leaders don’t cling to power—they release it for impact.

5. Are You Leading Well? (Self-Check)

Ask yourself:

  • Do I care more about the title than the people?
  • Do I use my authority to control or to empower?
  • Am I accountable to anyone?
  • If I lost my position today, would I still serve?
  • Would God say I’m stewarding leadership well?

If leadership is about service, impact, and responsibility—then many people aren’t leading.
They’re just… in charge.

Which one are you?

Final Thought

Leadership is a gift from God—but it’s also a test.

✔ How you lead determines whether God can trust you with more.
✔ The best leaders aren’t obsessed with power—they’re obsessed with purpose.
✔ If you don’t lead well, God can take the influence away (Luke 16:10).

So, are you a leader, or just in charge?

The way you serve, empower, and steward your influence will answer that question.

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🏃‍♂️ Jacob, Laban & You: Why Waiting Too Long Can Cost You More Than You Think

Ever thought about this?
What if Jacob had left Laban’s house the first time he thought about it? 🤔

Maybe there would’ve been no sneaky escape in the dead of night.
No stolen idols hidden under saddles.
No family drama that could power 3 seasons of a Netflix series.

But hey… Jacob waited.
And honestly, so do we.

Let’s talk.

🔄 When You Know It’s Time to Go… But You Stay Anyway

Jacob knew Laban wasn’t good for him.
He said it with his own mouth:

“Your father has cheated me by changing my wages ten times.” (Genesis 31:7)

TEN TIMES, my people. Ten.

But he stayed.
Worked.
Served.
Managed the chaos.
Pretended it was okay.
Maybe hoped it would get better.

Ever done that?

  • Stayed in a toxic friendship because “they were there for me once”
  • Stayed in a job that’s sucking the life out of you because “at least I’m getting paid”
  • Stayed in a church or group that’s clearly spiritually dry because “God put me here, so I must endure”

Sounds noble.

But sometimes, it’s just fear dressed in Christian clothing.

🧠 Why Do We Stay?

Let’s break it down.

  • Because we fear the unknown
  • Because we feel obligated
  • Because we don’t want to offend
  • Because leaving looks like disloyalty
  • Because it’s not “that” bad… yet
  • Because it’s not the Christian thing to do, right?

But listen.
God didn’t call you to be loyal to dysfunction.
You’re called to be faithful to Him.

🚨 The Cost of Delay

So what happened because Jacob delayed?

  • Family tension
  • Secret idol smuggling (thanks, Rachel 🙄)
  • Laban chasing them like it’s a Fast & Furious scene
  • Paranoia, guilt, anxiety…

Sound familiar?

Delaying obedience can sometimes multiply the consequences.
Comfort is not the same as peace.

🌟 But Here’s the Beautiful Part: God Still Helped Jacob

When Jacob finally moved…
God showed up.
Even though Jacob delayed, God didn’t discard him.

He protected him.
Prospered him.
Prepared him to face Esau.

So yes, maybe Jacob waited too long.

But grace waited too.

And it still does.

💭 What About You?

Is God nudging you out of your own “Laban’s house”?

  • That job?
  • That relationship?
  • That ministry role that’s slowly killing your fire? ||ghen ghen…
  • That comfort zone that’s become a cage?

Stop waiting for things to fall apart before you move.
Delayed obedience is still disobedience.

Jacob eventually left.
And his story didn’t end in regret—it ended in restoration. But what if he left earlier.

🔚 Final Thought

Don’t just stay because it’s familiar.
Don’t let “endurance” become an excuse for fear.

When God says move, don’t manage dysfunction—obey.

Because you may never know what restoration, healing, or new season is waiting outside Laban’s gate.

Now go pack your bags 🧳

And leave well.

Before you waste another 6years

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Weaponizing Your Wounds: When Pain Turns into Power… or Poison

Introduction: When Pain Becomes a Weapon

We all have wounds—emotional, psychological, or even spiritual. Life has bruised us, betrayed us, abandoned us, or even humiliated us. Some have lost parents young, some have suffered abuse, some have been cheated, insulted, or cast aside.

And yet, those wounds can go two ways:

  • They can become weapons for transformation—used to help others, birth wisdom, and inspire change.
  • Or they can turn into poison—breeding bitterness, vengeance, and cycles of oppression.

But let’s be honest. Many Nigerians (especially on social media) have turned their wounds into AK-47s—shooting down anyone who reminds them of their past pain. “Dem do me, so I must do others.”

Now, let’s talk about how this plays out in different parts of life.

1. “I Suffered, So You Must Suffer” – The Cycle of Hardship

Nigerians love suffering—not because they enjoy it, but because they believe it’s the only way to prove strength. So, when people finally break free, instead of making life easier for others, they weaponize their past suffering.

Real-Life Scenarios:

  • A Nigerian parent says, “I walked 10km to school every day, so my children must suffer too. They should trek to school like I did.” Instead of using their success to help their kids, they repeat the cycle.
  • Senior students in Nigerian universities justify hazing and brutal bullying by saying, “We suffered as freshers, so you too must suffer.”
  • In workplaces, a boss who was overworked as a junior staff says, “I had no work-life balance, so you must work weekends too.”
  • In Nigerian churches, leaders refuse to mentor younger ones freely because “I struggled to get here. You too must suffer and find your way.”

➡️ Question: If pain taught you the value of ease, why are you making others suffer the same way?

2. “Nobody Helped Me, So I Won’t Help You” – The Scarcity Mindset

Nigeria has a serious problem with gatekeeping. People who struggle feel entitled to make others struggle too.

Real-Life Scenarios:

  • A successful entrepreneur says, “I built my business from scratch without anyone’s help, so why should I give you free mentorship?”
  • A government official who struggled to rise to power refuses to create policies that help young professionals. Instead, he makes sure the entry barriers are even harder.
  • A pastor who grew up in poverty preaches hardcore prosperity gospel, telling people that if they’re still poor, they’re not ‘sowing’ enough.
  • A rich relative ignores his struggling cousin, thinking, “Nobody helped me, so why should I help you?”

➡️ Question: Why do we hoard help instead of using our struggles to uplift others?

3. “Since I Was Oppressed, I Must Oppress Too” – The Abuse of Power

One of the biggest effects of weaponized wounds is when victims become oppressors.

Real-Life Scenarios:

  • A church worker who was once humiliated now abuses power, controlling younger members the same way they were controlled.
  • A firstborn child, who was treated harshly, starts bullying younger siblings because “I suffered as the eldest, so you too must learn.”
  • A lecturer, who was once a struggling student, now demands bribes, blocking others from progressing just because he suffered too.
  • A young woman, once body-shamed, now makes fun of others because “They did it to me too.”

➡️ Question: Should pain turn us into abusers? Or should it make us more compassionate?

4. “Men Are Scum, Women Are Gold Diggers” – The Relationship Wound Game

Social media is full of people bleeding on innocent bystanders.

Real-Life Scenarios:

  • A man who was heartbroken by one woman now preaches “Women are wicked. Use them before they use you.”
  • A woman who was cheated on once now tells young girls “Don’t love a man—just collect his money.”
  • A husband, who grew up with an abusive father, now sees his wife as a punching bag because “My mother endured, so you must too.”

➡️ Question: Should one bad experience define how you treat others?

5. “God Disappointed Me, So I Won’t Believe in Him” – Spiritual Trauma

Pain even affects faith.

Real-Life Scenarios:

  • A former choir leader, humiliated by church politics, now tells people “Church people are fake. Forget religion.”
  • A young man, who prayed for healing but lost his mother, now says “God doesn’t answer prayers.”
  • Someone who suffered under a harsh spiritual leader now rejects all forms of church authority.

➡️ Question: Is God to blame for the wickedness of men?

The Jesus Model: Turning Wounds into Healing, Not Weapons

Pain is real. Betrayal is real. But how we respond to it matters.

Let’s talk about Jesus:

  • He was betrayed but still forgave.
  • He was abandoned but still loved.
  • He was crucified but still saved.

➡️ If Jesus had weaponized His wounds, we’d all be doomed.

Instead of using His pain for revenge, He used it to save the world.

So, What Do We Do With Our Pain?

✅ Heal before you lead – Don’t pass on your trauma.
✅ Break cycles, don’t continue them – If you suffered, use that pain to help, not harm.
✅ Mentor, don’t hoard knowledge – Your struggle should make it easier for others, not harder.
✅ Forgive, but set boundaries – Don’t let pain turn you into what hurt you.
✅ Let pain make you better, not bitter.

Conclusion: Wounds Can Be Weapons or Tools—You Choose

Pain is like fire. It can burn and destroy or refine and strengthen. How we use it determines whether we heal or wound others.

So, ask yourself today:

🔥 Am I healing or hurting?
🔥 Am I breaking cycles or continuing them?
🔥 Am I using my wounds to bring change—or to cause more pain?

Because at the end of the day, our wounds will speak—whether in love or in vengeance.

Prayer Section & Scriptural Reflections

Prayer for Healing from Weaponized Wounds

“Father, I bring my wounds before You. The pain, the betrayals, the struggles—I lay them at Your feet. Heal my heart so I don’t pass on bitterness. Help me to use my experiences to uplift, not to destroy. Give me the wisdom to break negative cycles and lead with love. Teach me to forgive, to mentor, to give, and to help others rise. Let my wounds be tools for healing, not weapons for destruction. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Biblical Reflections on Healing from Pain

✅ Joseph’s Story (Genesis 50:20) – “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and imprisoned unfairly. Yet, he didn’t let pain turn into revenge—he used his suffering to save lives.

✅ Jesus’ Response to Betrayal (Luke 23:34) – “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Even on the cross, Jesus forgave. His greatest wound became the world’s greatest healing.

✅ Paul’s Advice on Bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32) – “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger… Be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Pain does not justify cruelty.

Interactive Reflection Questions

  1. Have I unknowingly passed on my pain to others?
  2. What negative cycles from my past am I continuing today?
  3. How can I turn my painful experiences into a force for good?

🔥 Drop a comment below—let’s talk about this. How have you seen people weaponize their wounds? Have you ever struggled with this yourself?

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SPIRITUAL BULLIES: WHEN HOLINESS BECOMES A WEAPON

Let’s be real—some Christians can be bullies. 😳 Yeah, I said it. Not the type that steals your lunch money, but the kind that makes you feel like a spiritual cockroach before God. They swing their Bibles like battle axes, quoting verses faster than a WhatsApp forward, and before you know it—you’re questioning if you’re even saved.

But wait—how do we address this without falling into extremes? We can’t just dismiss correction (because real accountability is biblical), but we also can’t allow a culture where people are spiritually manipulated, guilt-tripped, and shamed into submission. So, let’s break it down:

1. WHO ARE SPIRITUAL BULLIES?

You know them. They could be the overly zealous church member who polices everyone’s behavior. The preacher who shouts, “You’re going to hell!” more than “God loves you.” Or the person who makes their personal convictions law for everyone else.

They operate in different forms:

🔹 The Legalist: “If you don’t wear a suit to church, you’re dishonoring God.”
🔹 The Guilt-Tripper: “So you’re telling me you didn’t fast for 40 days? Wow. Just wow.”
🔹 The Super-Spiritualist: “I had a dream that you need to sow a seed or your destiny is in danger.”
🔹 The Scripture Sniper: Always quoting verses out of context to attack, not to edify.

2. BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF SPIRITUAL BULLYING

This isn’t a modern-day problem. Even Jesus had to deal with spiritual bullies—THE PHARISEES. These guys were the original religious gangsters. They made following God look like an extreme sport.

“They tie up heavy, burdensome loads and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.”

📖 Matthew 23:4

Jesus wasn’t impressed. He called them hypocrites, blind guides, and whitewashed tombs (ouch!). Why? Because they made religion about performance, not relationship.

Another example? Job’s friends. Instead of comforting him, they took turns telling him why he must have sinned. Classic spiritual bullying—making assumptions about someone’s struggles and pushing the blame on them.

3. WHY DO PEOPLE BECOME SPIRITUAL BULLIES?

Nobody wakes up and says, “I want to be a religious tyrant today.” But here’s why it happens:

🔹 Insecurity: Some people use spirituality as a mask to cover their own struggles. If they can make you feel less holy, they feel more holy.
🔹 Control: Others love power. If they can make you dependent on them for “divine direction,” they get to play god in your life.
🔹 Miseducation: Some genuinely think they’re doing God’s work by being harsh. They confuse boldness with being rude.
🔹 Pride: “I have reached a level in Christ you will never understand.” Some people equate knowledge with superiority.

4. WHEN CORRECTION BECOMES MANIPULATION

Here’s the tricky part—Christians ARE called to correct each other (Galatians 6:1). But there’s a difference between correction and condemnation.

🔹 Correction says, 

“Hey, I noticed something off. Let’s talk about it and grow.”

🔹 Condemnation says, 

“You’re a disappointment to God. I don’t even know if you’re saved.”

One is love; the other is control.

5. ARE YOU BEING SPIRITUALLY BULLIED?

Ask yourself:

✅ Do they make you feel like your relationship with God isn’t good enough?
✅ Are they always focusing on your failures but never your growth?
✅ Do they use fear to keep you in check?
✅ Do they expect unquestioning obedience to their authority?
✅ Do they act like they have “exclusive” revelations you can’t get on your own?

If so, you might be dealing with a spiritual bully.

6. HOW TO DEAL WITH SPIRITUAL BULLIES (WITHOUT BECOMING ONE YOURSELF)

So what do you do? Because let’s be honest, our flesh wants to clap back. But God’s way is different.

✅ Stand Firm in Your Identity – Your relationship with God isn’t based on someone else’s approval. If they say, “You’re not spiritual enough,” remember: God calls you His child, and that’s enough (John 1:12).
✅ Know the Word for Yourself – So no one can use it against you. Jesus countered the devil’s misinterpretations with the right context (Matthew 4:1-11).
✅ Set Boundaries – It’s okay to say, “I appreciate your concern, but I’ll take this to God myself.”
✅ Correct in Love, Not Pride – If you see someone else being spiritually bullied, don’t fight pride with pride. Help them without becoming the same thing you’re against.

7. FINAL THOUGHTS: HOW TO SPOT A TRUE SPIRITUAL LEADER

Not everyone who corrects you is a spiritual bully. Some people truly want to help you grow. So how do you tell the difference?

A true spiritual leader:
✅ Leads with humility, not arrogance (Philippians 2:3-4).
✅ Encourages growth, not guilt (2 Corinthians 7:10).
✅ Points to Jesus, not themselves (John 3:30).
✅ Gives room for grace, not just rules (Romans 6:14).

Spiritual bullies push you down. True shepherds lift you up.

🚀 CLOSING THOUGHT:

Christianity is not about oppression; it’s about transformation. God didn’t save us so we could live in fear of “not measuring up.” He saved us so we could grow in Him—not under the weight of religious pressure, but in the freedom of His love.

So if you’ve been bullied by “super-spiritual” people, let this be your reminder: Jesus didn’t come to start a club for the perfect. He came for the broken, the weak, the outcast—and He calls them His own. 💙🔥

What do you think? Have you ever dealt with spiritual bullies? How did you handle it? Let’s talk! 👇💬