Tag: Why

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Weaponizing Your Wounds: When Pain Turns into Power… or Poison

Introduction: When Pain Becomes a Weapon

We all have wounds—emotional, psychological, or even spiritual. Life has bruised us, betrayed us, abandoned us, or even humiliated us. Some have lost parents young, some have suffered abuse, some have been cheated, insulted, or cast aside.

And yet, those wounds can go two ways:

  • They can become weapons for transformation—used to help others, birth wisdom, and inspire change.
  • Or they can turn into poison—breeding bitterness, vengeance, and cycles of oppression.

But let’s be honest. Many Nigerians (especially on social media) have turned their wounds into AK-47s—shooting down anyone who reminds them of their past pain. “Dem do me, so I must do others.”

Now, let’s talk about how this plays out in different parts of life.

1. “I Suffered, So You Must Suffer” – The Cycle of Hardship

Nigerians love suffering—not because they enjoy it, but because they believe it’s the only way to prove strength. So, when people finally break free, instead of making life easier for others, they weaponize their past suffering.

Real-Life Scenarios:

  • A Nigerian parent says, “I walked 10km to school every day, so my children must suffer too. They should trek to school like I did.” Instead of using their success to help their kids, they repeat the cycle.
  • Senior students in Nigerian universities justify hazing and brutal bullying by saying, “We suffered as freshers, so you too must suffer.”
  • In workplaces, a boss who was overworked as a junior staff says, “I had no work-life balance, so you must work weekends too.”
  • In Nigerian churches, leaders refuse to mentor younger ones freely because “I struggled to get here. You too must suffer and find your way.”

➡️ Question: If pain taught you the value of ease, why are you making others suffer the same way?

2. “Nobody Helped Me, So I Won’t Help You” – The Scarcity Mindset

Nigeria has a serious problem with gatekeeping. People who struggle feel entitled to make others struggle too.

Real-Life Scenarios:

  • A successful entrepreneur says, “I built my business from scratch without anyone’s help, so why should I give you free mentorship?”
  • A government official who struggled to rise to power refuses to create policies that help young professionals. Instead, he makes sure the entry barriers are even harder.
  • A pastor who grew up in poverty preaches hardcore prosperity gospel, telling people that if they’re still poor, they’re not ‘sowing’ enough.
  • A rich relative ignores his struggling cousin, thinking, “Nobody helped me, so why should I help you?”

➡️ Question: Why do we hoard help instead of using our struggles to uplift others?

3. “Since I Was Oppressed, I Must Oppress Too” – The Abuse of Power

One of the biggest effects of weaponized wounds is when victims become oppressors.

Real-Life Scenarios:

  • A church worker who was once humiliated now abuses power, controlling younger members the same way they were controlled.
  • A firstborn child, who was treated harshly, starts bullying younger siblings because “I suffered as the eldest, so you too must learn.”
  • A lecturer, who was once a struggling student, now demands bribes, blocking others from progressing just because he suffered too.
  • A young woman, once body-shamed, now makes fun of others because “They did it to me too.”

➡️ Question: Should pain turn us into abusers? Or should it make us more compassionate?

4. “Men Are Scum, Women Are Gold Diggers” – The Relationship Wound Game

Social media is full of people bleeding on innocent bystanders.

Real-Life Scenarios:

  • A man who was heartbroken by one woman now preaches “Women are wicked. Use them before they use you.”
  • A woman who was cheated on once now tells young girls “Don’t love a man—just collect his money.”
  • A husband, who grew up with an abusive father, now sees his wife as a punching bag because “My mother endured, so you must too.”

➡️ Question: Should one bad experience define how you treat others?

5. “God Disappointed Me, So I Won’t Believe in Him” – Spiritual Trauma

Pain even affects faith.

Real-Life Scenarios:

  • A former choir leader, humiliated by church politics, now tells people “Church people are fake. Forget religion.”
  • A young man, who prayed for healing but lost his mother, now says “God doesn’t answer prayers.”
  • Someone who suffered under a harsh spiritual leader now rejects all forms of church authority.

➡️ Question: Is God to blame for the wickedness of men?

The Jesus Model: Turning Wounds into Healing, Not Weapons

Pain is real. Betrayal is real. But how we respond to it matters.

Let’s talk about Jesus:

  • He was betrayed but still forgave.
  • He was abandoned but still loved.
  • He was crucified but still saved.

➡️ If Jesus had weaponized His wounds, we’d all be doomed.

Instead of using His pain for revenge, He used it to save the world.

So, What Do We Do With Our Pain?

✅ Heal before you lead – Don’t pass on your trauma.
✅ Break cycles, don’t continue them – If you suffered, use that pain to help, not harm.
✅ Mentor, don’t hoard knowledge – Your struggle should make it easier for others, not harder.
✅ Forgive, but set boundaries – Don’t let pain turn you into what hurt you.
✅ Let pain make you better, not bitter.

Conclusion: Wounds Can Be Weapons or Tools—You Choose

Pain is like fire. It can burn and destroy or refine and strengthen. How we use it determines whether we heal or wound others.

So, ask yourself today:

🔥 Am I healing or hurting?
🔥 Am I breaking cycles or continuing them?
🔥 Am I using my wounds to bring change—or to cause more pain?

Because at the end of the day, our wounds will speak—whether in love or in vengeance.

Prayer Section & Scriptural Reflections

Prayer for Healing from Weaponized Wounds

“Father, I bring my wounds before You. The pain, the betrayals, the struggles—I lay them at Your feet. Heal my heart so I don’t pass on bitterness. Help me to use my experiences to uplift, not to destroy. Give me the wisdom to break negative cycles and lead with love. Teach me to forgive, to mentor, to give, and to help others rise. Let my wounds be tools for healing, not weapons for destruction. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Biblical Reflections on Healing from Pain

✅ Joseph’s Story (Genesis 50:20) – “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and imprisoned unfairly. Yet, he didn’t let pain turn into revenge—he used his suffering to save lives.

✅ Jesus’ Response to Betrayal (Luke 23:34) – “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Even on the cross, Jesus forgave. His greatest wound became the world’s greatest healing.

✅ Paul’s Advice on Bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32) – “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger… Be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Pain does not justify cruelty.

Interactive Reflection Questions

  1. Have I unknowingly passed on my pain to others?
  2. What negative cycles from my past am I continuing today?
  3. How can I turn my painful experiences into a force for good?

🔥 Drop a comment below—let’s talk about this. How have you seen people weaponize their wounds? Have you ever struggled with this yourself?

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SPIRITUAL BULLIES: WHEN HOLINESS BECOMES A WEAPON

Let’s be real—some Christians can be bullies. 😳 Yeah, I said it. Not the type that steals your lunch money, but the kind that makes you feel like a spiritual cockroach before God. They swing their Bibles like battle axes, quoting verses faster than a WhatsApp forward, and before you know it—you’re questioning if you’re even saved.

But wait—how do we address this without falling into extremes? We can’t just dismiss correction (because real accountability is biblical), but we also can’t allow a culture where people are spiritually manipulated, guilt-tripped, and shamed into submission. So, let’s break it down:

1. WHO ARE SPIRITUAL BULLIES?

You know them. They could be the overly zealous church member who polices everyone’s behavior. The preacher who shouts, “You’re going to hell!” more than “God loves you.” Or the person who makes their personal convictions law for everyone else.

They operate in different forms:

🔹 The Legalist: “If you don’t wear a suit to church, you’re dishonoring God.”
🔹 The Guilt-Tripper: “So you’re telling me you didn’t fast for 40 days? Wow. Just wow.”
🔹 The Super-Spiritualist: “I had a dream that you need to sow a seed or your destiny is in danger.”
🔹 The Scripture Sniper: Always quoting verses out of context to attack, not to edify.

2. BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF SPIRITUAL BULLYING

This isn’t a modern-day problem. Even Jesus had to deal with spiritual bullies—THE PHARISEES. These guys were the original religious gangsters. They made following God look like an extreme sport.

“They tie up heavy, burdensome loads and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.”

📖 Matthew 23:4

Jesus wasn’t impressed. He called them hypocrites, blind guides, and whitewashed tombs (ouch!). Why? Because they made religion about performance, not relationship.

Another example? Job’s friends. Instead of comforting him, they took turns telling him why he must have sinned. Classic spiritual bullying—making assumptions about someone’s struggles and pushing the blame on them.

3. WHY DO PEOPLE BECOME SPIRITUAL BULLIES?

Nobody wakes up and says, “I want to be a religious tyrant today.” But here’s why it happens:

🔹 Insecurity: Some people use spirituality as a mask to cover their own struggles. If they can make you feel less holy, they feel more holy.
🔹 Control: Others love power. If they can make you dependent on them for “divine direction,” they get to play god in your life.
🔹 Miseducation: Some genuinely think they’re doing God’s work by being harsh. They confuse boldness with being rude.
🔹 Pride: “I have reached a level in Christ you will never understand.” Some people equate knowledge with superiority.

4. WHEN CORRECTION BECOMES MANIPULATION

Here’s the tricky part—Christians ARE called to correct each other (Galatians 6:1). But there’s a difference between correction and condemnation.

🔹 Correction says, 

“Hey, I noticed something off. Let’s talk about it and grow.”

🔹 Condemnation says, 

“You’re a disappointment to God. I don’t even know if you’re saved.”

One is love; the other is control.

5. ARE YOU BEING SPIRITUALLY BULLIED?

Ask yourself:

✅ Do they make you feel like your relationship with God isn’t good enough?
✅ Are they always focusing on your failures but never your growth?
✅ Do they use fear to keep you in check?
✅ Do they expect unquestioning obedience to their authority?
✅ Do they act like they have “exclusive” revelations you can’t get on your own?

If so, you might be dealing with a spiritual bully.

6. HOW TO DEAL WITH SPIRITUAL BULLIES (WITHOUT BECOMING ONE YOURSELF)

So what do you do? Because let’s be honest, our flesh wants to clap back. But God’s way is different.

✅ Stand Firm in Your Identity – Your relationship with God isn’t based on someone else’s approval. If they say, “You’re not spiritual enough,” remember: God calls you His child, and that’s enough (John 1:12).
✅ Know the Word for Yourself – So no one can use it against you. Jesus countered the devil’s misinterpretations with the right context (Matthew 4:1-11).
✅ Set Boundaries – It’s okay to say, “I appreciate your concern, but I’ll take this to God myself.”
✅ Correct in Love, Not Pride – If you see someone else being spiritually bullied, don’t fight pride with pride. Help them without becoming the same thing you’re against.

7. FINAL THOUGHTS: HOW TO SPOT A TRUE SPIRITUAL LEADER

Not everyone who corrects you is a spiritual bully. Some people truly want to help you grow. So how do you tell the difference?

A true spiritual leader:
✅ Leads with humility, not arrogance (Philippians 2:3-4).
✅ Encourages growth, not guilt (2 Corinthians 7:10).
✅ Points to Jesus, not themselves (John 3:30).
✅ Gives room for grace, not just rules (Romans 6:14).

Spiritual bullies push you down. True shepherds lift you up.

🚀 CLOSING THOUGHT:

Christianity is not about oppression; it’s about transformation. God didn’t save us so we could live in fear of “not measuring up.” He saved us so we could grow in Him—not under the weight of religious pressure, but in the freedom of His love.

So if you’ve been bullied by “super-spiritual” people, let this be your reminder: Jesus didn’t come to start a club for the perfect. He came for the broken, the weak, the outcast—and He calls them His own. 💙🔥

What do you think? Have you ever dealt with spiritual bullies? How did you handle it? Let’s talk! 👇💬

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Can a Man Impress God?

Let’s be real—have you ever tried to impress someone? Maybe a crush, a boss, or that overly spiritual brother in church who prays in King James English. You go out of your way, adjusting your behavior, choosing your words carefully, maybe even throwing in a dramatic “God bless you, my brother!” to sound extra holy.

But what about God? Can we impress Him?

What Does It Even Mean to Impress God?

Impressing someone usually means doing something that makes them go, “Wow!” So, can we do something so remarkable that God, the One who created galaxies with a whisper, looks at us and says, “Wow, I didn’t see that coming”?

Well… not exactly.

1. God is Not a Man

First off, God isn’t human. He isn’t moved by human standards of “impressive.” You could pray for ten hours straight, fast for 40 days, and still, your righteousness is described as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). Compared to His perfection, our best efforts don’t make Him raise an eyebrow.

Think about it:

  • Solomon built a temple so glorious people traveled from distant lands to see it. Did God go, “Wow, Solomon, I’m speechless!”? No, instead, He said, “Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. Where is the house you will build for me?” (Isaiah 66:1). Basically: “Nice temple, Solomon, but I own the universe.”
  • Job was the most righteous man of his time, yet when he finally encountered God, all he could do was repent in dust and ashes (Job 42:5-6).

2. But… God DOES Delight in Us

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. Even though we can’t impress God in the way we impress people, we CAN please Him. There are things that delight God:

Faith:

“Without faith, it is impossible to please God”

(Hebrews 11:6)

A Humble Heart:

“These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit”

(Isaiah 66:2)

Obedience:

“To obey is better than sacrifice”

(1 Samuel 15:22)

In other words, God isn’t impressed by our efforts but by our heart posture. It’s like a little child drawing a crayon picture for their father. The father isn’t impressed by the artistic skill (because, let’s be honest, it’s mostly scribbles), but he treasures it because it came from love.

3. So, Should We Stop Trying?

Some people might say, “If I can’t impress God, what’s the point of striving for righteousness?” But that’s the wrong question. We don’t pursue holiness to impress God; we do it because we love Him. Just like a husband doesn’t try to “impress” his wife by buying flowers—he does it because he loves her.

Paul says,

“I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me”

(Philippians 3:12)

It’s not about impressing God; it’s about growing closer to Him.

Final Thoughts: What Actually Moves God?

A broken spirit and a contrite heart (Psalm 51:17).
Genuine faith, like that of the centurion (Matthew 8:10).
True worship, not performance (John 4:23-24).

So, can a man impress God? No. But can he touch God’s heart? Absolutely. Not by showing off, but by surrendering. That’s the paradox of the Christian life—the greatest way to “impress” God is to stop trying and start trusting.

Now Over to You:

Have you ever tried to impress God? What do you think truly delights Him? Drop a comment and let’s talk!

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“What If I Can’t Forgive?” – Wrestling with Unforgiveness Despite Biblical Commands

🔥 “Just forgive and move on.”

Ever had someone say that to you, and you just wanted to… lay hands (not the prayerful kind) on them? 😤

Yeah, me too.

Forgiveness sounds easy until you’re the one who’s been betrayed, backstabbed, abandoned, or broken beyond words.

We know what Jesus said:

  • 📖 “Forgive seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:22)
  • 📖 “If you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:15)

But what if… I just can’t?

What if the pain still burns?
What if the wound is still fresh?
What if they never apologized?

What if I don’t even want to forgive? 😤

1. But They Don’t Deserve It! (Spoiler: Neither Do We 🤦🏽‍♂️)

Let’s be honest—some offenses feel unforgivable.

🚪 A trusted friend betrays you.
💔 A parent wounds you deeply.
⚖️ A person ruins your reputation.

And yet, here comes Jesus, asking us to forgive.

Not because they deserve it,
But because we didn’t deserve God’s forgiveness either.

📖 “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

(Romans 5:8)
Forgiveness isn’t excusing their sin—it’s releasing them from being the lord over your heart.

It’s trusting God to handle justice instead of letting bitterness consume you.

Because, let’s be real—bitterness feels powerful, but it only poisons the one holding it.

2. “But I Still Feel Angry!” (Good. That Means You’re Human.)

Forgiveness isn’t pretending like nothing happened.

David didn’t fake-smile at Saul while dodging spears. 🏹
Jesus didn’t laugh off Judas’ betrayal. 💔
Even God expresses righteous anger. 🔥

Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event—it’s a process.

It’s choosing, every time the anger flares up, to say:


“Lord, I release them into Your hands.”

And some days, you’ll need to say that 147 times before breakfast. 😩

3. What If I Don’t Feel Forgiving? (You Don’t Have To—Yet.)

Ever notice how Jesus never said,
“Feel forgiveness in your heart, and then act on it.”

Nope. Instead, He commands us to do it.

Because forgiveness isn’t an emotion.
It’s an act of obedience.

When you start praying for the person who hurt you—
Not “Lord, break their legs” but “Lord, heal them”—
Your heart slowly starts to change.

It might take time.
It might take prayer.
It might take tears.

But you’ll wake up one day and realize…
The bitterness has loosened its grip.

And in its place? Freedom.

4. But What If They Hurt Me Again? (Set Boundaries, Not Barriers.)

Forgiveness doesn’t mean handing them a free pass to hurt you again.

It doesn’t mean ignoring wisdom or setting yourself up for more damage.

🔒 Forgiveness is releasing the offense.
🚪 Boundaries are protecting your heart.

Jesus forgave freely, but He didn’t entrust Himself to everyone. (John 2:24-25)

You can love someone from a distance.
You can pray for someone and not let them back into your inner circle.
You can forgive and still be wise.

Because grace isn’t naïve. It’s just freeing.

Final Thought: “But What If I’m Not Ready?”

Then be honest with God.

“Lord, I want to obey You, but I’m struggling.”
“Help me forgive, because I can’t do it on my own.”

Because at the end of the day, forgiveness isn’t natural.

It’s supernatural.

And the One who forgave you first…
Will give you the grace to do the same.

What Do You Think?

  • Have you ever struggled to forgive?
  • What helped you let go?
  • Do you think forgiveness always means reconciliation?

Drop a comment—let’s wrestle through this together. ⬇️🔥

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Why Do Some Christians Never Seem to Change?

Ohhh, this is going to ruffle some feathers—but hey, truth has a way of doing that!

Let’s be real: we all know that one Christian who has been “born again” for 15 years but is still as impatient, rude, or unkind as ever. Maybe it’s a church leader who preaches fire on Sunday but is a nightmare to deal with on Monday. Or maybe—let’s be honest—sometimes that person is us.

So… why do some Christians never seem to change?
Shouldn’t faith in Jesus transform us?
Is it possible to be in church your whole life and still act exactly the same?

Buckle up—we’re about to unpack this.

Why Do Some Christians Never Seem to Change?

Spiritual Stagnation, Fake Growth, and the Difference Between Information & Transformation

I. The Expectation vs. The Reality

Let’s start with the Bible’s expectation of a Christian life:

✔ New birth (John 3:3)
✔ Ongoing transformation (Romans 12:2)
✔ Growing in love, joy, patience, kindness… (Galatians 5:22-23)

Now, compare this with the reality we often see:

❌ People who have been Christians for years but still gossip, slander, or hold grudges.
❌ Churchgoers who know the Bible inside out but lack love, humility, or integrity.
❌ Believers who talk about spiritual growth but never actually change.

What’s going wrong? Let’s break it down.

II. The 5 Big Reasons Why Some Christians Never Change

1. They Confuse Knowledge with Growth

There’s a huge difference between knowing the Bible and being transformed by it.

👉 Some people attend every Bible study, memorize verses, and debate theology—but their hearts remain unchanged. Why?

Because knowledge alone does not transform.

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees—they knew Scripture better than anyone, but their hearts were far from God (Matthew 23:27).

Real growth happens when we OBEY the Word, not just study it. (James 1:22)

✔ Knowledge says: “I know I should forgive.”
✔ Transformation says: “I actually forgive.”

2. They Rely on Church Attendance Instead of Real Discipleship

Some people think that showing up to church = spiritual growth.

🚫 They listen to powerful sermons but don’t apply them.
🚫 They enjoy worship but don’t worship outside Sunday services.
🚫 They serve in church but neglect their personal walk with God.

Church attendance is GOOD—but without personal devotion, it’s just religion.

The early church didn’t just gather once a week—they lived out their faith daily (Acts 2:46).

✔ Christianity is not a spectator sport.
✔ You don’t grow just by watching others live for Jesus—you grow by walking with Him yourself.

3. They Don’t Deal with Hidden Sin

Some people don’t change because they won’t let go of secret sins.

✔ Unforgiveness? Keeps us stuck (Matthew 6:14-15).
✔ Pride? Blocks transformation (Proverbs 16:18).
✔ Addiction? Chains the soul (Romans 6:16).

Let’s be blunt: you cannot grow in Christ while holding onto sin.

If you refuse to let God deal with the root issues, you’ll keep repeating the same struggles, year after year.

The hard truth:
🚫 God won’t transform what you refuse to surrender.

4. They Lack Spiritual Hunger

Some people don’t change because they’re spiritually lazy.

👉 They want the benefits of Christianity (peace, blessings) but don’t want to put in the effort (prayer, fasting, seeking God).

✔ They want wisdom but won’t read the Bible.
✔ They want breakthrough but won’t pray.
✔ They want anointing but won’t spend time with God.

Here’s the thing: growth requires pursuit.

“You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)

🔥 No hunger = No growth. 🔥

5. They Are Trying to Change Themselves (Instead of Letting God Do It)

This is huge. Many people try to change themselves instead of letting God transform them.

👉 They depend on self-discipline instead of God’s grace.
👉 They think trying harder will fix their spiritual life.
👉 They get frustrated when they keep failing.

But real transformation is God’s work, not ours.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion.” (Philippians 1:6)

Our job? Surrender to Him.
His job? Change us from the inside out.

✔ It’s not about striving—it’s about abiding.
✔ It’s not about struggling—it’s about surrender.

III. What’s the Solution? How Do We Truly Change?

If you’re tired of stagnant faith, here’s how real transformation happens:

1. Stop Just Listening—Start Doing

🚀 Don’t just hear the Word—apply it! (James 1:22)
🚀 Make small, daily choices to obey God, even when it’s hard.

2. Prioritize Relationship Over Religion

🔥 Growth isn’t about church attendance—it’s about knowing Jesus personally.
🔥 Spend time with Him in prayer, worship, and the Word—not just in services.

3. Be Brutally Honest With God

😨 Struggling with hidden sin? Confess it.
😨 Feeling spiritually dry? Tell Him.
😨 Need transformation? Ask for it.

The Holy Spirit is the One who changes hearts—but He won’t force transformation on you. You have to want it.

🔥 Your Turn! Let’s Talk 🔥

👉 Have you ever felt “stuck” in your faith?
👉 Which of these reasons do you relate to most?
👉 What practical step will you take TODAY toward real change?

Drop your thoughts in the comments! Let’s grow together. 🚀🔥

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